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Relationships are challenging. They are not for the faint hearted. I just spent a month disseminating relationship and dating advice to 8 single celebrities for E! Network's new show, Famously Single airing this springand I walked away feeling crystal clear that as members of the LGBT community, we definitely have our own set of challenges when it comes to dating and relationships.
In an effort to help you bypass some of the most common mistakes our peeps make, I've compiled a list of my 5 BIGGEST rules to follow:. Be Equally Out or Closeted. You should only date people who are exactly where you are on the Coming Out Spectrum.
To date someone who is at a different phase of coming out than you are will create a power struggle, lesbian love and dating advice. The person who is further along in coming out will invariably be dissatisfied with the more closeted partner. I've seen it hundreds of times and it's always the same story, though each couple hopes theirs will result in a different outcome, with the closeted partner assuring the out partner that she will eventually come out but that she's just more of a 'private' person, and the out partner swearing that she doesn't even care if her partner comes out -- the important thing is lesbian love and dating advice they're together.
What happens is that both partners become fixed in their respective positions which results in a power struggle between the couple which then causes them to reach out to me for therapy and since I would rather walk through fire than deal with a couple, I send them to my wife, the Imago therapist. Spend Nights Apart. We don't get Boys' Night Out or Girls' Night Out by virtue of needing time alone with our same-sex friends because, well, we're in a relationship with someone of the same sex.
Which is precisely why it's imperative that you establish a night alone from the beginning. I've seen so many clients who have been in a relationship for a year or more who wish they'd established this habit early on so that it didn't feel like it was some sort of rejection of their partner later in the game.
Time alone is one of the most important elements needed for sustaining a relationship. You need new stories to bring to your partner. It's how we keep excitement in the relationship. Offer To Pay -- Both of you. You're the same sex, lesbian love and dating advice, and until you've established a system for who pays for what, you both need to offer to pay.
Do Not Talk About Your Ex. The heteros seem to understand this intuitively. We can learn from them. No one wants to hear your war stories, lesbian love and dating advice. Specifically, don't reference how they were in bed or how devastating the breakup was. I'm cringing just thinking about it. I have to split the sexes here: WOMEN: Resist the urge to merge.
Do not U-haul for a minimum of a year. I don't care if you live in Manhattan and it just makes financial sense. It's a recipe for disaster. We can change this stereotype. And yes, I broke my own rule and u-hauled early on. I'm a lucky one. Do as I say I've seen it backfire more times than not. MEN: Label it. Call it what it is. If you want an open relationship, clearly express it to your partner; likewise if you want a monogamous relationship.
If you're somewhere in the middle -- say, you'd like to have sex with other partners but only with each other in the context of a 3-way, clarify that. I don't care what your relationship model is. I'm open to all. But only with percent honesty, lesbian love and dating advice. So there you have it. Want to learn how to Master Relationships? Click HERE to immediately download my 5 Tips For FABULOUS Relationships!
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Text Message Etiquette - Etiquette for Lesbians Flirting over Text Messaging. Try to have a five-to-one ratio of positive to negative interactions. Give more compliments, hugs, affection, and appreciation than negative comments or blaming. Better yet, try to eliminate negative comments altogether.
Keep things exciting with surprises. Take her on a special date night, sneak a love note into her briefcase, send her flowers, bring her lunch at work. Buy her tickets to her favorite musician or write her a song and sing it to her while she's in the tub.
Surprises little and big are important to keep things fresh. No one is a good partner if they're stressed out and unhappy. Make sure you take the time for yourself to stay healthy. Eat right, exercise, do yoga, take alone time when you need it. The better you feel about yourself, the more you're going to be able to give to your relationship. Nothing kills a relationship faster than sitting around on a couch, looking at each other with bored looks on your faces. You're going to be spending a lot of time together, get involved in something that excites both of you.
It can be golfing, traveling , or volunteering at the local animal shelter. Find your common interests and develop them into pleasurable experiences. I thought it was something they stuck in your mouth at the dentist. And I hate the dentist. Screw that. I wear heaps of mascara, look great in pale pink, AND can rescue myself from any kind of disaster.
Falling in love while wasted at lesbian parties. I was suddenly flooded with embarrassing memories of pronouncing my love to a girl whose name or face I could not remember. For the next year, I lived in incessant fear of running into this girl again. PSA: OUR SCENE IS SMALL. IF YOU EMBARRASS YOURSELF IN FRONT OF GIRL YOU HAVE An PERCENT CHANCE OF RUNNING INTO HER AGAIN.
Though I did find a great way to get out of this. You never stress me out, which is why it feels foreign to say your beautiful name when I feel stressed. I used to think that I liked girls with short hair who were taller than me. Butch, femme, stem, tall, short — I like all kinds of lesbians as the French would say, lesbiennes. Slipping up and telling a girl on the first Tinder date I had already looked at her Instagram. Thinking the first girl I ever dated was the love of my life and that would I never get over her.
Your emotions are too out of whack, the stakes are too high. Plus, in order to know what you truly like, you need to get in there and date as many different ladies as you possibly can. I promise. zarabarrie quotestoliveby quotesofig quoteoftheday writersofinstagram writeordie writersofig mentalillness mentalhealth depression recovery. A post shared by Zara Barrie zarabarrie on Jul 7, at am PDT. Every time you go the bathroom with the door open, a lesbian angel loses her wings.
She lit her cigarette and sucked back an impressive drag of smoke. You Might Also Like Community Voices. October 27, Dayna Troisi.
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